He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
