I am in a vortex of obligation.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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