Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
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We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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