You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
