apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
