i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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