when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
