One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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