Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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