I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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