I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
