remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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