Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
