She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
