Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize