he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
