Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
