So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
