I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
