Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
