I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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