i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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