I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
