You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
