Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
