Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize