Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
