the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
