Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
