He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize