yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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