We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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