i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so let's talk penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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