"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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