the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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