No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize