Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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