Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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