The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
