and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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