We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
