i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
