Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize