It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
