so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
