yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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