what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
