I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
