also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize