I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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