I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize