I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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