you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
