i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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