I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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