Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
