You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
