no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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