I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
