I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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